


Liar

by Taarbas



Series: Surfacers [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, awkward coursers, somewhat but it gets kinda fluffy towards the end, techinically a sequel to comfort food at 3am but can be read as standalone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6549553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taarbas/pseuds/Taarbas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tracy tries to thank X6 for looking out for her. He feels guilty and all those new emotions come pouring out in the worst possible way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Liar

Eventually even Tracy, who was known to walk barefoot in the snow, had to admit it was getting too cold to stay outside. “Besides,” She reasoned, “The sun’s rising soon anyway. The stars won’t be out anymore,” X6 nodded, his jaw clenched to keep his teeth from chattering. He hadn’t wanted to disappoint her, but he was freezing and liked nothing more than the thought of going inside, preferably back by the hopefully still warm oven. Tracy ushered him in ahead of her, her hand warm on his back as she followed in from the door. “Hopefully Preston didn’t see us,” She laughed, leading him to the kitchen. “He gets mad when I don’t sleep. Worry’s about me, ya know? I tell him he doesn’t need to, but he never listens,” She shrugged, smiling up at X6. “Anyway, the brownies should be cool enough now. May as well eat them for breakfast,” She dug into a nearby drawer, pulling out a small knife that was surely too sharp to cut something like this. Then again, he wouldn’t know. “You a corner or- nevermind. I forgot. Sorry,” She sounded legitimately apologetic, and it confused him. 

“For what, ma’am?” He asked, attempting to discreetly examine her. He wasn’t sure what she had done wrong. 

“I forgot you’ve never had one before. In my time, some people were corner people, other middle or edge. I was gonna ask what kind you were, but you wouldn’t know,” 

“I am a Courser, ma’am,” He explained, wondering if being out in the cold without proper clothing had made her catch a fever. Could a fever harm a human’s mind that quickly? X6 was afraid to find out. She snorted, shaking her head as she cut a large rectangle off the brownie. 

“I know that, sweetie. Here, try this,” She held up part of the brownie, and he carefully plucked it from her fingers, popping it in his mouth and chewing. “That’s a corner. They’re usually a little crispier or chewier than the middle pieces. Some people really like, so they like the corners. Some only kind of like it, so they prefer an edge. Some people completely hate them, so they like the middle. It’s just a personal preference,” She shrugged, popping a piece in her mouth. “I’m a corner person, myself. I used to have a pan that had walls running through it so there were more edges to the brownies. I miss it,” The brownie was sweet, much sweeter than the snack cakes. It was still warm too, something the snack cakes never were. She smiled when he swallowed, quietly asking if he liked them. The taste lingered in his mouth, heavy on his tongue while he nodded his agreeance. She practically beamed, eagerly pulling off another piece from the rectangle and offering it up to him. “Just pull off what you want, I won’t stop you,” She pushed the cut piece towards him, licking crumbs off her fingers. The two ate in silence after that, picking off pieces and smirking at each other as the taste flooded their mouths. Tracy was rocking on her feet, staring out the window. Soon, there was a small piece left, and they both reached for it, their hands knocking together. X6 snatched his hand away as if he had been burned, Tracy jumping and doing the same. “Take it doll, it’s your first one anyway,” She smiled, and he shook his head, pushing it towards her. 

“You made it, ma’am,” She cocked a brow.

“You helped. Actually, no, consider it a thank you for coming to help me. I know it ended up being nothing but for all we knew...well you coulda saved my life. So here, eat it,” Guilt twisted in his throat, heavy and hard. He tried to swallow around it, feeling like he was going to choke. He’d  _ lied _ to her, and now she wanted to reward him for something he really hadn’t done. Shaking his head, he pushed it back to her, hoping she’d drop it. She didn’t. “What’s the matter X? You look sick all of a sudden...you aren’t allergic to something, are you?” Her face paled as she pushed off the counter, gently grabbing his chin and turning him to look at her. She was fussing, nervously feeling at his neck for swelling. He grabbed her hands and pushed them away, maybe a little too harshly. She stepped back, putting distance between them. The heavy knot of guilt grew heavier. 

“I...lied to you, ma’am,” He said, staring at the tiles under his feet. She cocked a brow, reaching over and forcing his chin up, forced him to look her in the face. He suddenly felt sick, like he had eaten something rotten. X6 had expected anger on her face, or disappointment. Instead, he saw concern. 

“What’s the matter?  _ Are _ you allergic to something? I can wake Curie and she can-” 

“It’s not that!” He snapped, clapping a hand over his mouth in shock. He’d just snapped at her, after she had been so kind and understanding and had offered him something sweet and treated him so well-

“Then what is it?” Her voice was still calm, still concerned. He didn’t understand. He wanted to cry. Clenching his jaw, he took a deep breath through his nose, forcing back tears. He would  _ not _ start breaking down over something this stupid. He needed to be wiped, or at least have a mental assessment as soon as possible. Gently, her hands folded over his, pulling it away from his face and holding it gingerly between her them. “X, you can tell me anything,” 

“Why do you call me that?” He asked, knowing full well it was the wrong thing to say. 

“What, X?” She didn’t sound angry. How was she not frustrated with him? “I just thought it was a cute nickname. Almost everyone else has one, ‘cept for you. So I thought you may like it. Might help you feel more included. Why? Do you want me to stop? I will, don’t worry, you won’t tick me off or anything-”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” His voice cracked, and he cursed, trying to cover it up by clearing his throat. She paused, her eyebrows disappearing into her bangs. 

“Why am I- X6-88, I am your friend, firstly. And I’ve hardly done anything special. I’ve just treated you like a person. Like you should have been treated all along,” Her hands squeezed his, and he found his fingers curling over her palm of their own will. He was a machine, he wasn’t a person. He wasn’t supposed to feel, not like this. People weren’t supposed to act like this either. They weren’t supposed to care about what he thought, what he wanted. They were supposed to make sure he was running correctly, and give him orders. Tracy didn’t do that. Tracy asked him if he was okay with just about everything, always checking in, always trying to make sure he was okay. He just didn’t understand. It felt like a gulch he couldn’t cross, another reminder that no matter how human he looked, he wasn’t. He was just a machine. 

“Do not concern yourself with that, ma’am,” He licked dry lips, forcing words out of his tight throat. “I lied to you. Don’t you want to know what it was about, ma’am?” He tried to remember if he had ever lied to any of the scientists, or even another synth. He didn’t think he ever had, and certainly not to someone in Tracy’s standing. His stomach churned at the thought of what might happen to him. Most likely, he reasoned, he’d be decommissioned, thrown away like any other broken tool. He shouldn’t of been afraid, but the thought made his hands shake and bile rise in his throat. Her hand, suddenly cool and comforting, touched his shoulder, sweeping down his shoulder blade and snaking around his side. Her other hand still held his. 

     “Take your time,” She whispered as he collected his thoughts, tried to get himself to speak. “Do you need some water?” He nodded, and she vanished from his side, returning with a can of purified water that she gently placed in his hand. His own were shaking so bad he could hardly get it to his lips, shot nerves and lack of sleep mixing with sugar and making him jittery. “Sweetheart, if you aren’t ready to tell me, I won’t push you to,” He shook his head, managing to set the water down next to the unfinished brownie. She had to think he was an incompetent fool, freaking out this badly at the thought of being given a simple treat. Her mutt reacted better. 

     “I wasn’t awake because I heard a noise, ma’am. I-I was afraid. I dreamt of...something, I do not recall what. It was coincidence that I saw a shadow in your kitchen,” The knot of guilt left his throat, instead curling in his stomach as he slowly raised his eyes to look at her. Lying about a task like that could get a synth decommissioned in the Institute. Out here, on the lawless, chaotic surface, he could only imagine what she would do. Her eyes widened, in shock and confusion at his actions, and he mentally prepared himself for her anger. 

     “That’s what’s got you so freaked out?” She asked, her words no more than breath. He nodded, dropping his eyes and keeping his head low. She laughed, shaking her head in disbelief as he flinched guiltily. 

     “I know I took advantage of your hospitality, ma’am, but I can sti-”

     “Sweetheart! Doll! Friend!” More pet names. What? “You didn’t do anything wrong,” She was clearly trying not to laugh. Did she get some sick form of pleasure from this? “That’s hardly a lie. You were just scared. Please, you don’t need to worry! And you especially don’t need to freak out like that, you had me scared!” She cupped his face, brushing her thumb over his cheekbone as he watched her. “Nobody is going to be angry with you for something like that. Nobody. And if they are, you come to me, and  _ I’ll _ deal with them. Okay?”

     “But ma’am! I-” He sputtered, and she shook her head.

     “No. No ifs, ands or buts. You’re  _ fine _ . It’s okay. I know this is all new to you, but please, demand respect from people around here. You don’t need to apologize for every little thing, nor do you have to explain your every action. Okay? You are as much as a person as they are, you have as much right to be here as them. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise,” He bit back the urge to argue, instead nodding silently. He didn’t understand why she wasn’t angry. He was a machine, a tool to be used and discarded when it was clear he wasn’t working correctly anymore. He had proved that multiple times, and yet here they were again. Her face softened, and she gently squeezed his hand. “Good. I understand this is all new to you, and your emotions aren’t really in line yet. It’s okay. You’re going to spiral sometimes, seemingly from little things like this, and people aren’t going to always get it. They don’t know what’s going on, and it’s your choice whether you want to inform them or not. I won’t push you either way,” She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb, and he looked between their conjoined hands and her face in confusion. 

     “Ma’am...I don’t need to understand these emotions. I need to be wiped.  _ I am damaged _ . No longer useful,” The disappointment was back, and anger flared up inside him, making him shake his head. “Why?! I’m doing as I’m supposed to, ma’am. I’m informing you that I need to be fixed, why does this upset you?” Add insubordination to his list of offenses for the morning. He was on a roll. 

     "I’m not upset with you,” She murmured, turning to the counter and picking up the knife. She absently twirled it on her fingers, a habit the ghoul had taught her. She performed with much less grace, her spins more awkward fumbles than graceful twists. “I’m angry with the Institute. I’m sorry, I must have been confusing you so badly,” She shook her head with a sigh, setting the knife in the sink. “That’s my fault. I should have been more clear with you. X-...X6-88,” She corrected, “You are a wonderful ally. I am not at all disappointed in you. In fact, I’m proud. You’re very brave, coming up here and putting up with our strange surface customs. You easily could have asked Father to switch another Courser over to this mission. Well, maybe not that easily. Look, my point is you’re going through a lot, and I understand that. I want to help you as much as I can. Confusing you with my own weird social skills? Not my plan. I want you to feel welcome and comfortable and overall, happy. The emotions thing is gonna take awhile to get a hold on. You can come to me whenever you need,” She took his other hand, squeezing them both. “And please, don’t scare me like that again,” An edge of humor crept into her voice, a small smile making the corners of her mouth twitch. He didn’t know what to do with her confession, standing silently across from her. He failed to see the humor in the situation. He had panicked over something, he clearly didn’t have control over his emotions. He almost protested again, until he remembered the disappointment in her face. 

     “Very well ma’am. Thank you,” It seemed like the right thing to say. She bought it, smiling sweetly as she patted his arm. 

     “Good. Now, eat this, would you?” She shoved the last of the brownie at him. He hesitated, unsure how to proceed after such an episode, and she heaved a sigh, picking it up and holding it up to his mouth. “Just eat it. Stop worrying. Consider it a...peace offering? A starting over? I don’t know. It’s yours though,” He gingerly took it from her, breaking it in half and shoving the pathetically small piece it made at her. He honestly should have just done that from the start, but her trying to praise him for essentially lying to her face had made him panic. She seemed taken aback, but laughed, thanking him as she took it and popped it in her mouth. As she chewed, she shook her head. “All this over a brownie,” He laughed. 


End file.
